


A ring like no other

by Epoxide (MiyuTanemura)



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Crack, Drabble, Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:44:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3277208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyuTanemura/pseuds/Epoxide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bilbo’s finding of the One Ring was a life-changing event.<br/>Though… not in the way you think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A ring like no other

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alkjira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alkjira/gifts).



The cavern was dark and beyond scary to the hobbit who had just survived a big fall. Though he had to admit that he had been lucky – the keyword being _survived_ – where the same couldn’t be said to his fall-companion, a goblin.

As he heard noises, quite gruesome ones, his legs failed him, making Bilbo fall on his bum on the hard ground.

He looked around wildly but the weak lighting wasn’t of much help. His hands groping the ground, trying to find a way in the dark and then his hand curled around something. Bilbo raised his hand to see what it was.

What wasn’t his surprise to find himself holding a ring.

It was… pretty. A golden band with a pink jewel on top, the jewel seemed to sparkle and had a glow surrounding it, in a pulsing motion. And Bilbo also marvelled at the two tiny rainbows that shone above.

Then, he heard a noise. His hand instantly closing on the ring and placing it on his waistcoat’s pocket.

“Who’s there?” he asked in a wavering voice.

“What do we have here, precious?” A gaunt figure jumped in front of Bilbo, holding the head of the goblin and hugging it as if it were a teddy bear.

Bilbo blinked and tried to take a close look at the creature. It was dirty, with bulging eyes, only a few strands of hair that were fashioned into a greased curl to the right side of the being’s head and, it wore what seemed to have been a frilly apron with… ducklings in it – it was, understandably, difficult to see, what with the low light and gore, but the front pocket still had a duck stitched to it so Bilbo was confident about the design.

Still…

Ducklings aside, he better not relax around this strange creature.

He raised his sword.

“Don’t come any closer.”

#

After that encounter things started to get weird.

But, weird in every aspect.

When the tired Company set camp near the bottom of the Carrock, Bilbo had the first of many strange dreams.

#

_It was dark. The air heavy and thick and filled with expectation._

_Then, he felt himself be swept to a battle. No. Not yet a battle, to the minutes just before the battle. Bilbo could taste the anxiety of his side, where he was facing what looked like a sea of orcs._

_Then, there was an opening among the orc rangs and a large, imposing figure emerged._

_Whoever it was, was clad in a scary black armour but Bilbo could feel his eyes – or was it “dream eyes”? – widening for on that being’s hand there was a pink glow that Bilbo thought was extremely familiar and, on a closer look, there were sparkles and what looked like tiny fireworks of various colours being thrown around it._

#

_The scene changed and Bilbo found himself in what looked like a room – or maybe a tent? There seemed to be some flapping fabric nearby, Bilbo got reminded of how the wind would make the clothes he had hanging on his backyard do the same noise – where the imposing armour-clad figure was standing. No. Standing wasn’t the right word._

_The figure was dancing. His feet moving in the steps of what looked like a complicated jig, arms flailing a bit and the glow from the ring leaving traces of light behind, as it was moved around. The armour creaked and from behind the helmet, Bilbo could hear an off-key “tra-la-ri-tra-la-la” being sung._

_Then the figure finally came to a stop, raised his hand – the one with the ring, of course – and started cooing at it, a cavernous voice that made chills run down Bilbo’s spine and that was so very at odds with the words being said._

_“Who is the meanest of them all, who is? Who is?” there was a pause for smooching noises and then, “And who is going to win this battle? Hm? That is right…_ me _.”_

_And that was followed by more smooching noises._

#

Bilbo woke with a start. His eyes opening to darkness with the words from that person, in that cavernous voice still ringing in his ears. He sat up and looked wildly around, only to be comforted as he took in the sleeping bodies of the Company’s members, scattered in the grass and, by the fire, Glóin was on his shift of watch.

He was safe now. He could sleep.

And he did.

**Author's Note:**

>  **A/N:** So, yesterday I was checking alkjira’s “[Stories I'm Not Really Writing, Or: The Ideas Won't Leave Me Alone](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1017856)” and there are some really yummy prompts there (ugh, the bunnies strike again and now I’m in trouble xD) and, I don’t know, it seems like Chapter 19 struck a chord. Seriously. I woke up at 5am and the thing that follows wouldn’t leave me alone. So I wrote it. It really is a shoddy attempt at filling this prompt but, hey, I never wrote crack so I most likely suck at it. And this was just the scenes that popped into my head so, huge lack of continuity or sense or something really. It’s just the ramblings of a half-awake mind.  
>  My apologies to Tolkien and his legacy. Hahaha… ^^’  
> And, yeah, my thanks to alkjira for the awesome prompts, many apologies for the lack of funny. Ah, and it’s also totally unbetaed so, yup, sorry for that too.  
> Anyway, comments would be nice. xD


End file.
